People should not phone in ads when they're stoned. For obvious reasons. Don't make me have to repeat shit back to you if you can't remember what you started the sentence with. And stop asking your girlfriend in the background for help. I can hear her just fine and she's just as much a pothead. And it's only noon. Hmmm did someone smoke their breakfast today?

Ummm like um dude? The funny part was you waxing poetic on how putting the "new brakes" before the "runs good" in the ad for your '65 mustang (of which there must be hundreds of such in this 'burb I call home) is somehow going to set your ad on fire for potential buyers who will simply fail at resisting the temptation purchasing your rusted automobile. I get paid for this. You just want $$ to buy another dime-bag. Or 10.

Here's a tip: unless you're selling some seriously cool shit like a Delorean or a Pantera, don't waste your waking moments on that morning(?) toke cupcake, by having me rearrange your ad like a fucking jigsaw puzzle. Oh yeah, by the way, you forgot to put in your phone number and the price for that piece of shit. I ran your ad anyway. Don't forget to pay the bill when it comes in the mail, junkie.

Oddly I can't blame people for typos and punctuation, that's my department to fix. However syntax? I cannot stress enough that people THINK before placing your ads. Because of liability and refund issues, I will type in your ad for "ThighBusters OBO, good now for you $50" EXACTLY as you wrote it. I'll spellcheck it but that's as far as it goes.

I encourage everyone to spend some time rethinking laughing about errors in classified ads, and the corporate idiots that type them in. Most of the time they're not typos, that's actually how the customers wanted them to read in print, so's we type them in like that. And we know you're stupid. It's your money, you get what you pay for.

'Nuff said.