Ugh. Delivery day. Time for everyone to come into the office, late for something and franticallly search for their 15 word ad out of a hundred pages. Then you have the audacity to look up and sneer at me. I was lucky the following conversation was on the phone. Much easier to give someone the finger and not get sued for it while on the job.

"I don't see my ad. Tell me where it is"
OK what's your phone number?
"don't you have it already?"
Maybe, but I need it to do a search on our servers for it
"I was just there last week, you don't remember? You took my ad, look it up"

OK. this is where my irritation starts. YES, if I scrape my brain with a tornado I just might remember seeing you last week. And a hundred other people. Go ahead lady, just push the phone buttons on my forehead and I'll print out your account info on a ticker tape you can pull out of my mouth. Will that make you happy? Just give me your damn phone number and all will find peace on Earth sooner than all that time you took to argue with me whether I have your damn phone number or not.

"Did you find it.? "
Yes. Which one did you have a question about?
"(now she's a little pissed) When I came in. I know you remember me I had the......."
OK OK. hold on. Got it. You put in 4 ads when you came in. Is there an error?
"YES There is! you mispelled it"
Mispelled what?
"MY AD. why are you people so hard to deal with?"
Ma'am? Which one, you have 4. Please identify which ad and I'll pull it up for you.
"The one for the furniture"
They're all for furniture
"Who is your manager?"
He's not here.
"I want to speak with him"
He's not here.
"He fixed my ad before, let me speak with him"
Ma'am I can understand errors in ads, but if you would please help me out and tell me which one of the 4 is in error, I can fix it for you, but you have to work with me.

"you people are always so difficult. My ad came out on Saturday and ITS WRONG!"
Ma'am. Our papers come out on Thursday. Once a week.
"I picked it up on Saturday"
Yes but they came out on Thursday.
"How is that? you deliver everyday?"
Ohhhhhhhhh I know. You put in an ad with _____________ too this week?
"Isn't that who I called?"
No. This is ______________ paper, did you put your ad in other papers this week? I'm showing you put in 4 with us this week.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry, but is yours wrong too?"
I don't know. Is it?
"Don't get smart"
I'm not, but I don't know if your ad is wrong unless you can tell me if it is. AND what the error is. I'll be glad to help you out.
"Nevermind, I found it in your paper it's fine. Thanks. Bye."


OK People, when you sell 4 of anything in multiple outlets it would help if you have some fucking sense as to whom you're calling when trying to get a free ad because of a missssssspelling in it. As if the cover designs of our local papers weren't enough of a clue, now you have to invade my lunch hour accusing me of invisible errors that I didn't have anything to do with, even though you probably put your damn furniture ad in 10 papers. I wonder if I was #5 on your list on who screwed up your shit before you managed to read the full color headers. Exceptional customer service skills are wasted on people like you.

Thanks for making our working days so much fun for the next caller you bitch.

Reading is fundamental.......