Why is proceedure scheduling so damn difficult for people? When you're making a life changing, mood enhancing decision (emphasis on mood here) could you at least get my name right? I spelled it out for you. TWICE. And that wasn't the only thing you screwed up.

Nevermind, I took my business somewhere else. Enjoy your day.

I never wanted to have kids again. I long ago used up that priviledge. I thought, times being that they are these days, I'd be trying to raise kids in a PC society on the verge of World War 3 if I had another. And try to explain it all to them.

Then recently, one of those "priviledges" came forth and asked, "Where is my real dad?". I responded to a beacon out in the world. And I am happy.

And then this happened.....

If I ever got to choose a new idea for a new reality show, I'd name it "Who has the most fucking worthless kids" Then I'd name who I want to be the judges. Do this yourselves and pick the biggest Reality TV assholes you can think of you'd want to be judges. A caveat-assholes assumed-they actually know their shit in their careers.

My Choices:

Simon Cowell
Gordon Ramsey
Dennis Leary
Tyra Banks

Runners up:
Miranda from Sex in the City (only because I can't remember her real name at the moment)

And then this happened.....

I can't speak on public radio for the life of me. I can sell beer to 50,000 at a football stadium, but get me on talk radio, I g-ddam choke. Here's the
post(you do the c&p html)

http://www.nicedoggie.net/2006/?p=1112#comments

Mine is #41.

Then I get on Wide Awakes Radio, to "comment" on it..

http://wideawakesradio.com/

How Corb can choke in 3 easy steps.


Fine. Try better next time.

A Picture Share!

One smart goose

There's always one in every crowd that doesn't fallow the herd. Or in this case the gaggle. I'm at Lynn Lake in N Raleigh with the SO feeding geese under a bridge. Well not so much feeding them as plunking them on the head with bread crumbs. No ducks were harmed to get off my ass about plunking waterfowl with bread crumbs.

But this one had an agenda. Not only did he fly from the other shore of the lake (the other geese, well adapted to flying decided to paddle like hell). Hopped up on the pier, walked up the steps and down the bridge about 100 feet to us. I gave him the whole bun for his efforts. And took its picture for prosperity.

Meanwhile the other 50 geese and ducks brawled it out for whatever was left floating in the water.

This site just adds to my point:

The character shown ? does not mean "geisha" when it is just by itself alone.

? means "prostitute".

And your kids, and maybe yourself are eating this shit up like solid cocaine. Seriously, my ex brother-in-law had "I like pussy" (in his translation from a small city tattoo shop) in "Mandarin" on his forearm. He wore it like some badge of honor. I reminded him he was from Texas prior to relocation near where I left the exes.

I asked him how he knew the symbols were letters....err.....caracters. His response was "This one is the letter I...a space, then L, then......

I left it at that. White guys with chinese anything if they're not married to one are not cool.

No linky here. Just scroll thru the photos below of the Fark.com users party at the Ale House in Raleigh tonight. I'm kinda curious if Fark users could pull off a flash mob. Might work.

A Picture Share!

A Multi Media Share!

A Multi Media Share!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

I'll be damned, it DOES work! Mobile cam phone blogging. I knew this has been around a year or so, but I recently got a phone that supports it. Pershizzle biyotch! This should add a new twist to future events.

Heh.

....So I'm out with with my SO and several others and their SO's for sushi. Being in Raleigh, it's not hard to find sushi, but REAL sushi, being that I grew up and lived up and down the west coast and have had my fill over the years. But this place served BOTH Japanese and Thai. Not bad. Traditional too. Looking around the "southerners" (they only serve forks via request) might get the chopsticks thing someday. Eating with chopsticks isn't that hard. And NO they're not shish kebabs goddamit. You don't skewer your tuna, or your octopus with your "sticks" like a kid poking a frog. Learn to use the fucking utensils they provide. It really is that easy. And fun! And you look like you know how to handle the food at the same time.

Saki bombers work too in the initiation to the world of Japanese food with southerners.

There was a spoiler in the crowd tho.......and that one stuck in my mind. Not at the table while practicing our eating skillz with stix, but the guy that caught my eye coming into the restaurant.

Enter: Sushi Restaurant. Raleigh, NC. I don't know if this was a "redneck" move but is sure as shit was a dumbass one. Anyone remember the scene from "Clerks" where the "jock" comes in with his girlfriend to pitch a bitch about Kevin Smith's character getting reamed about selling cigarettes to a 4 yr old kid that you know who sold to earlier? Take that same guy, put some grey hair on him, and put "Duke Lacross" on it.

I shit you not. This mother fucker walks in like a jock from Flashdance with a "Duke Lacrosse" sweatshirt (with all the shit going on about Duke these days) on into a traditional (they're trying here) Japanese sushi bar. He passed by me and I never saw him again.

Draw your own conclusions.

The internet just gets more wierder or amazing all the time:

link: http://metaatem.net/words/




Apparently now using one of various "generators" (those of you familiar with them) can use images from various personal pic sites like flickr and myspace and live journal to make sentences from pictures that contain specific letters. wOOt!

And then this happened.....Which is nothing.

Specifically the "May Day Immigration" marches. Here in Raleigh, not a damn thing happened and I don't think anybody cared. There was the expected plug on the evening news but not much else. I could put 10k links to sites and blogs but it's all the same stuff getting passed around 10k times.

The only thing I know of is that many of the temp workers at the printing plant I work at didn't show up. No problemo Amigo, you no get paid today. Don't worry, we have a thousand employees than can pick up the slack. And shiat like this is probably why you'll stay a temp than the other "immigrants" who show up, properly documented, do their jobs, and in 90 days when they become "regulars" they get a pay raise really by just asking to be one, and having your paperwork handy (the temp agency that hires people for our bindery work takes $2-4 an hour of the LOWEST base wage for regulars right of the top for finding their asses jobs).

This whole "march/protest/immigration" thing I just see as an excuse to get out of work and not have to do much of anything for the day. You know, make a 3-day weekend out of it, being that it was Monday 'n all.

The "regulars" that have been around past 90 days now get full medical benefits, stock options, 401k, family leave, sick leave and all else that goes with it. Everyone of them showed up. What REALLY got me is that the "offical" protest downtown at the Capitol wasn't until 5pm (in an effort supposedly to disrupt traffic-didn't work, people just drove around). We had 30-40 people (out of 1000, yeah we can fill in from other departments) that didn't show up at 7AM. OK, just where the fuck were you the other 10 hours? You could have taken off a couple hours early (our managers are generous and would have said "Fine" so long as you don't bullshit them). But you decide to not show up ALL DAY. As today I have off, I don't know how many won't be allowed back at all.

From what I can see, this "shuttering of cities" amounted to no more than a bullshit excuse to play hookey and bitch about something. Kinda reminds me of recent happenings in France. Maybe in LA and Phoenix (can you imagine protesting in 100 degree heat? Me neither.)

Don't get me wrong, I don't care if people are climbing over themselves to get into the greatest country on Earth, just do the paperwork alright? And enough of this "New Aztlan" bullshit and taking a chunk out of the US. This time we have the guns and the people and the Alamo will look like a picnic. Besides, if you did manage to get it back, you'd be back in freaking Mehico and would lose any and all US citizen priviledges, plus the fact that we'd burn LA, San Diego, SF and Phoenix to the ground before we hand them off to another country. So there you go...........

The price of doing something good. Or so I thought.


I'll start of with the easy stuff (lest the sig other kill my ass off when it's read later, if at all).

Sig Other needs surgery on the mouth. In less than a month. Since we're not married (yet) I can't get her on my insurance. My broke ass (3 yrs after divorce, no kids [DINKS]) can't help her. I have zero money to help with a major surgery let alone buy her a THE ring. Well, I do but she doesn't know it yet. Until the truth came out........and she was pissed. Jebezzus that was a long drawn out discussion.

Bullshit. I can. Any MAN of consience and morals can AND will help, no matter the outcome. You find a way to do things. Even if you get your ass kicked for even thinking of your "creative financing" and hell, it was neither immoral nor illegal. I got the cash. Let's not do this twice please, and if we do let it be for more fun reasons.

Before I start on the rant, all you women out there that are in REAL medical need, when a guy that is obviously in love with you pulls more money out of his ass than his net worth when the word "Cancer" is played around, let alone "Wedding ring" $TFU and take it. Homey don't play wit that cancer. That shiat kills people. "Cancer" plays up "I'm pregnant" anyday. Especially when you're waiting for the biopsies. And hoping people live.

NOTE: Sig Other pulled the HIPPA shit on me and kept me from paying for her surgery. My response was: HIPPA and privacy laws don't keep me from paying your rent, your gas, or even depositing it into your bank so shut it. I'm working for YOU baby. I understand her fear, but.....

MY rant is when cash in hand from unamed sources (cashier's checks and wires) gets to you and you try to put it into your bank. I haven't seen a cashiers check in a while, let alone try to deposit one of THAT amount. Aren't these things supposed to be "guaranteed funds"?

Yeah that was a lesson I got today. I found it harder to throw money at people that wanted it (my bank) than to try to give it them. It would have been easier to toss the cash at some homeless drunk. The chunk of change I got wasn't small. It was in the thousands. And even with that, there is no guarantee that my Sig Other will survive the surgery, or complications there of. We know that going in. I'm just doing my part.

I already have checking and savings accounts. Investments. Money Markets. They are slow money coming back now (post divorce). Walk All Over You bank won't cash the check because the amount isn't covered by what I have available. I know that. Cash it anyway please. And please put this full amount (as I'm standing in front of the teller with a hundred cameras on me) back into my account as a cash deposit so that It'll be available SOMETIME today.

No can do I'm told. The amount is too large (under $10,000). Fine. Give me $500 back. I'm hungry and my ass is out of gas. (I need enough available NOW so's I can at least pay my resistant-hopefully-fiancee's rent for the next few months). No can do either. And all this shiat over a cashiers check? Today I find out it doesn't matter if it's Western Union, Amex or some damn bank, that cashier's checks are NOT quite guaranteed funds. Well Just WHAT the fuck is anymore?

So...........I march on over to their rival bank to try and cash it (__&_) JUST so I can get cash to deposit at MY bank (note: I'm all up about online banking and bill pay, been doing it for years, but don't belive the hype) so the "cash" is deposited immediately. Same issue, but the front line staff was nicer and their "hold" was 2 days shorter.

I'll still go to __&_ but TODAY I needed the money. I didn't need to find money, I ALREADY fucking had it. Lots of it. For one specific purpose. All I needed to do was increase the available cash on hand and make it available for the SigOthers needs. She pitched a bitch about it. Went on about the whole "I'm not a charity case hand out shiat". I don't give a shit. That's what people do for each other.

Finally I went to the Mart from Hell (no need to plug the name here) ONLY to just cash what I always knew as guaranteed funds. Training is lost on these morons. At their "cashing counter" where they also do returns, I'm informed that "We don't cash cashier's checks. Only payroll. What is a cashiers' check? Oh and we only do up to $999"

I about fucking blew up at this silly bitch but it wasn't her fault.

Side note: May I remind anyone that should ever read this, ____Mart wants to start their own bank. Have fun when you bounce a check at ____Mart.

In the end? I took it up the ass and just deposited the money. With a 7 day hold for guaranteed funds, or so I thought. I wasn't in a hurry to get the money. I just wanted to make sure it was there. But evidently the rest of the banking world can't handle it. No wonder my father got out of banking years ago.

Cash works. So does gold. So does stuffing it in mattresses, cans, bottles, your pals. Anywhere else.

I drove 50 miles today doing things that are less than 2 miles away from me. On a day off. I could have done this on my bicycle. And would have got the same result. And had my cell with me the whole time. Communications be damned. Get's easier everyday to just go evil than good.

All I wanted to do was guarantee that the doctors get paid (or mix in in somewhere, rent, bills, insurance, gas.....) but everybody has to make everything more fucking difficult than needs be.

I love her. That's what I do. I'm a guy. I solve problems. Get the fuck out of my way when she goes "under". Bad Karma is just a silly catch phrase if you don't.

Little sister want's to see the blog. Access granted.

I'll make this short 'n sweet. The last job I had before I left hell was working for a major global wireless and digital services provider. I won't say names but we'll just say they got bought out not too long ago. My position? Customer Service Specialist (if you can call it that) at one of their call centers.

If that doesn't describe going to hell in a handbasket I don't know what does. When your cell screws up for any particular reason, I was one of those "fucking morons" taking your call. What an eye-opener. First to see the inner workings of call centers, which is designed insanity, and just how "fucking morons" that call in really are.

At some point in life all of us have taken jobs we really didn't want but found info and experience that speaks volumes. This was one of them. Next couple of months I'm going to outline some of those experiences as what goes on behind the phone, and some when people and cell phones don't and shouldn't mix.

Insanity begets Insanity. Stay tuned.

It's been a while since my last bitch. 2 years. What have I got to bitch about since? Fucking everything. And nothing. One hopes that we stop, yet we decide not to. Pick something that pisses you off. I'm not going to zero in on it today but apparently people like to read about people bitching.

So.....we'll start with this.........

what pissed me off today? Nothing. Nobody actually got in my way today. I took the last 2 years getting the rest of life's bullshit out of my way. Now I'm back. It will elict more questions I'm sure for anybody that's reading.

Now onto the fun.


I'm still in the graphics world, yet people still piss me off, corporate, pre-press assholes, QA labs or otherwise, It's my life's mantra apparently. And some people can iliustrate it better than I can. Five years of telling myself I can learn to use Flash and I still suck at it. Then I was also married for more years than I spent in college. You decide. And I'm still alive.

I bow down to Joe Cartoon and Atom Films and those that have more time and fun than I do... My Flash skills suck. My attitude doesn't.

Stay tuned...........

OK, well it's been a month since my last post. Might as well keep it going if not specifically about newspapers. From what I hear the one candidate for my old job that the paper (out of over 100 applicants-blame the economy if you must) lasted but ONE DAY. She came to work one fine Monday AM and was never heard from again. Probably some idiot conspiracy behind her disappearace or that she wised up and said Fuck This! and found something better.

On a more urban note, These bloggers got me on my next shpiel on metrosexuality and Men's Health magazine:
everydaystranger

and

serenitysjournal

These two gals mirror a lot of what I'm thinking but
what the fuck is all this "metrosexual" bullshit lately? As opposed to ruralsexual? All I see is some selfabsorbed genre of men that are 1) too afraid to admit they're gay or 2) too afraid to admit they don't know how to pump their own gas (no offense to Oregon residents). Geezus guys it's bad enough that you don't posess a spine but no balls either? I can understand a guy that wants to look good, smell good, and be aware of his surrounding but.......body shaving and eyebrow plucking? Pedicures? If it takes a guy 2 hours to get ready for work in the morning he might as well wear a thong and a bra. Pussies.

I mean, what the hell? Men and women need magazines on how to ummm.....be men an women? You people are such obedient sheep. you'd have better luck reading horoscopes.

Man, Management at any large corporation is stupid. I just finished reading about some poor mommy boy finding out about his blog and MicroAssholes busting people about some guy that blogged about Getting shipments of Mac G5s This poses just one Question:

What are you fucking morons afraid of? This is becoming a free exchange society. You pissant corporations treat your trophies and companies under your wing one and the same. Goddam when was the last time you spoke to your wife you controlling asshat? All show, No know. Great. Keep everyone stupid, and keep your millions. Communicate assholes.

I hate newspapers because of their invasiveness, I hate software companies because they think they can pee farther in the snow then x--- company. I hate computer manufacturers because you must fit within "their box" and DDR memory is all the rage. Yay for us.

You idiots. Go fishing for once. And not with a Microsoft-built or Apple-built, or Sun, or Unix, or, or or, any fish finder either princesses.

If I ever hear the word "upsell" or "You should HAVE pointed them to another one of our great products" spoken to me again because my numbers are low this month, I'm taking that boss for a smoke break in the alley.

I've decided. The Blog will continue. And maybe let reader commentary be added, tho I'll probably just read it for my own enjoyment. I'm an opinion whore. Your thoughts screw me, and then you need to go away. It's just that easy.

Note for today? Reflecting back now at the paper, there was this HousePainterGuy that put in regular monthly ads. He referenced to his work day by speaking Latin when putting an ad in each time he came in. He was always more a show in person than the HorsePeople. At least he was fun to watch. I could have been playing charades or Pictionary with the fool just to put in a his $6 ad. He drips paint. His workers drop shit. BUT: how does one put an ad in IN LATIN any way for this:

Professional painter. Free Quotes, Call ___-____. Professional references, quick turn around. Low rates, Call me. Free moss removal.

$500 bucks to anyone that can translate that into latin (PigLatin doesn't count you fuckers). He tried to.....no I'm serious, HE tried to. He thought it was funny quirky take on putting in an ad a couple months ago. Now that I'm thinking about it, The only people that study latin are those that well, study latin and attorneys that try to one up each other's bullshit in court. That's what? .002% of the population? Nah dude, nobodys gonna understand your fucking PainterGuy ad....in latin. Having talked to you already, you DO good work on your house painting. I checked your shit. However, I might have ya paint mine next year. Maybe. But I'll just mow the lawn while you do so's I don't have to listen to your latin bullshit dance. Bring your attorney. He can watch it dry.

I'm gonna quit before I get started on that one.